How We’ll Live: Healing Trauma & How to Use Intuition as a Guide Through Life’s Most Difficult Transitions
Why You Should Be Listening…
“When you’re done, you’ll know.” I heard my mentor say these words to me after I had been trying to figure out why the hell I kept going back to the same guy, the same blackout hook ups, and the same awkward two-text sober interactions. I was in my junior year of college and had been back and forth with the same guy for three years. I was pissed at myself for not being able to release whatever hold this “relationship” had on me, but she told me with full confidence that I would know. It wasn’t until the following year that I got it. I had just come home from a weekend away, where he and I had been together, and I realized just that: I was done. No hard choice. No emotional outburst. Something had released me. But, it wasn’t until about four years later that I started consciously and actively connecting the dots of my behavioral patterns with sexual relationships to the sexual trauma I experienced as a child. My past had been impacting everything so much, and I was finally looking at it. As I listened again to this week’s rec, my mentor’s words kept echoing in my head, and I knew I had to suggest this one to you all.
On this Tuesday Pod, Hailey Miller interviews Kate Van Horn, a wellness blogger, yoga instructor, and entrepreneur. I connected with Hailey through the Girlboss online community (side note: if you’re a woman looking to connect with other dope women, I highly suggest joining this platform). I knew from the episode title that I would be interested in the content; I am always doing more research on trauma, so I can understand my own experience and continue to heal and so I can help educate the people around me and communicate better with them. As I began to listen, I was pleased to hear a well-thought-out and well-handled conversation about some really difficult shit. Kate herself is a survivor of childhood sexual trauma and has undergone treatment for eating disorders, and she speaks about these topics with such care.
Hailey and Kate center around how to heal from past trauma, how trauma can impact daily (and work) life, and how intuition pathways can be identified. Truthfully, that last one had me the most skeptical. As someone who intensely experiences anxiety in her gut, I am always irritated when someone tells me to “trust my intuition” because if that was the case, then I would have died from an allergic reaction or some terrible disease or been attacked many times over by now and been right about it each time cause my body was saying “yes, this is the truth!!!” But, like Kate and Hailey discuss, there are ways to distinguish between patterns of chaos that have become comfort zones from choices that show care and attention to your body and soul. Rather than leading with the discourse of “gut feeling,” Kate talks through alternative ways to tap into that intuitive energy.
And this is the shit that I find can be directly related to the other work we are out trying to achieve in the world. As I talked about in my first post, our career pursuits are not separate from ourselves—everything is intertwined and if you’re not right with yourself then it’s going to bleed into the professional work you are trying to do. Kate directly speaks to this as a blogger: how she creates a healthy balance between authenticity online and being mindful of her well-being and personal needs. She also talks about the inconsistency of healing (how my therapist always describes it to me). Some days you’re gonna be great and other days are going to be pretty fucking rough. Her candor is so welcome, especially from a fellow survivor who gets frustrated with herself when she’s hit a low moment again.
This episode was another one that I really had to stop myself from writing down everything in the Quote Book. It is also one that you might have missed if you were just relying on the Apple podcast suggestion algorithm, or something else like it, so please share with others. I cannot stress enough how much I love this episode not only for anyone who has experienced serious trauma or is looking to understand someone who has been through it, but for anyone who is just looking to break unhealthy patterns or decipher how past pain has impacted the way they move in their present life. If anything I mentioned in this post resonates with you, no matter how big or small, I hope you’ll take a listen.
Quotes You’ll Want to Write Down